Alas, we waited for the fire to burn out. It was truly not as exciting and terrifying as it was crazy and hilarious. And peeps say I'm a bad cook...well...honey's...Miss FiFi has never started a frickin fire.
I got this book for xmas...my favorite book from childhood. Yes, I am an adult...I realize this. It's Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Siverstein. It was a special present and one of my favorites. It's not an ordinary children's book...the drawings are adorable and the poems are insightful, meaningful, not just for children but adults as well. Anyway, my favorite poem in there is Alice. I picked it up this weekend and read and found this poem sort of coincides with how I 've been feeling about the next thing I'm gonna talk about. Here it is:
She drank from a bottle called DRINK ME
And up she grew so tall,
She ate from a plate called TASTE ME
And down she shrank so small.
And so she changed, while other folks
Never tried nothin' at all.
So, if you haven't all heard that FiFi the nutball is having her karma fixed by a psychic, you've been living under a rock. Been seeing her and she's been telling me some pretty fucked up shit, which has been driving me emotionally crazy. So, most people tell me that psychics are full of shit and they tell you exactly what you want to hear...however, these bitches tell me things that scare the testicles off me and I hear things that hurt and suck and make me sick and pissed. And proving from July, everything always comes true. ALWAYS! Even the bad stuff...
She explained to me that my heart would be broken twice before I found my soulmate. She didn't tell me that my heart would be broken both times by the SAME person. However, it does seem only plausible that the only person that would be able to break my heart would be the one person I love more than anyone else. She told me that in four months I would learn who my soulmate is. Four months to the day...I learned that my soulmate is the frickin person who broke my heart twice and who I was supposed to break up with in the first place. Um...can we all say WHAT THE FUCK???
I mean really, what the fuck? Apparently, all of this lovely bullshit had to happen so that my karma would be fixed and that we could come together as we should be. So basically, the person my soulmate was before the karma issue will be the same person in body but not in mind after the karma shit is fixed. Uh Huh...
I hope you're following me...cuz I rarely follow her and have to ask 20 ba-gillion questions to catch up. So, everybody hates this person, thinks that she's terrible for me and on and on forever and a day. When people found out that I carried on a two month long affair with this person, let's just say they weren't happy campers. But more so...were upset that I kept it from them even tho I was trying to protect them. Apparently, they love me no matter what I do...and no matter who I love. They just want me to be happy...
More on the affair shit later. I'm sure some of you peeps are scratchin your heads. Need to stick to the karma.
So, the psychic tells me things about my soulmate (well before she tells me the person is my soulmate, that is....SNEAKY BITCH).
1. I love this person more than I ever loved anyone in my life. (True.)
2. Communication problems prevent us from understanding each other. (True.)
3. When I'm without the person, I feel an empty hole inside me. (True.)
4. The person felt a closeness to me despite the fact that she has a hard time feeling. ( According to the person...True.)
5. The person has the same hole. ( According to the person...True.)
6. I can see the good in her when no one else does. (True.)
7. She is destructive. (True.)
8. I am destructive. (True.)
So...those last two...don't they really convince you that we should be together FOREVER?!? Yeah...mkay.
As she tells me this stuff, I become more and more skeptical. Yes, all of those things she said and more than I can't remember were true...but, it doesn't change the history of us. So, I have been struggling back and forth with this information devastated where my destiny is taking me.
I went to see her the other day. She had me bring a spool of thread. She ripped off three pieces. She gave me two that represented my karma and I had to throw them over my shoulder to symbolize my desire to rid myself of the bad karma. The third piece she told me to tie three knots into it. I did. Then she told me to crinkle it into a ball. I did. Then she asked me about my faith and religion and if I believed in all that stuff. I said yes. She told me that I was to go home...meditate over the string...think about two things I want in my life. When I was finished she said that I had to open my hand and unravel the string.
If the knots were still there, she told me she couldn't help me. She said that if I didn't have enough faith to remove three little knots from a piece of string...how would I ever have the faith to untie my bad karma... Makes sense, right? She then told me that if I unraved the string and the knots were gone...we could continue.
So, I did it. Reluctant the whole time. Thinking I was done for. I closed my eyes...concentrated...did as she said and when I was finished I opened my hand and unraveled the string. The knots were gone. I thought that maybe I was having an hallucination...or some shit...but no...definitely no knots. Needless to say, I (as well as several of my friends that have serious doubts in all this shit) was shocked.
Well, at least that means we can continue. Even though I am terribly freaked out. So now, I am having a major issue questioning anything at all she tells me. I believe it's true. She is not full of shit. And now I have to deal with this... pray for me.
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