...sing a little love song, my love, to myself. If there's something that you want to hear, you can sing it yourself...

'Cause everything is free now, That's what I say. No one's got to listen to The words in my head. Someone hit the big score, And I figured it out, That we're gonna do it anyway, Even if doesn't pay... ~~Gillian Welch

Okay...so...here's what's gonna happen. What's gotta happen actually.

I don't know anyone in Staten Island. Don't really need/want to know anyone there. So...when someone Googles my name and reads my blog in Staten Island...I can see that my previous request for someone to leave me alone was not granted. Clever...but I'm cleverer...

I have no fucking clue what you are still looking for. If you are looking for a revealing post on how I got fucked 100 ways to Sunday, you won't find it here. Miss FiFi is too much of a lady for vulgarity of that sort. And I prefer to keep some of the deviant aspects of my life to myself...thank you very much.

I thought of writing about how I had decided to become straight again or started dating Shane from the L Word or that I'm moving out of the city, hell, the state, the fucking country even.

I then realized that that would not work...nope. So, I am very sad to report the tragic death of one Miss FiFi Mandrake. She was an amazing gal! Beloved! Sought after! Worshipped! Adored! Loved the world over! Unforgettable! No one could match her wit, charm or beauty! She will be missed severely.

Fortunately, Miss FiFi's soul was reincarnated and will return to the world again shortly with a new more beautiful name and all the audacious, brilliant deviance that her followers have come to love so dearly. If you are a friend of FiFi, please send an email so I can reveal her new identity to you.

I will now leave you with these few last words.

What there is to learn, you will eventually learn for yourself. I had to. Everyone has to. You are going to find no more helpful information. In life, we must learn our own lessons and repeat the same mistakes over and over until we get it right. Unfortunately, I know the hard and long road that is before you all too well. It has always and continues to lead to the same dead end. You cannot learn from me or the ones that came before me. You cannot learn from your friends. You have to learn for yourself. And one day, it will be okay. While the end is very painful, we all get away or die trying. You and your happiness are most important. You just have to ask yourself...am I ready for all the sacrifices? Am I ready for the questioning, second guessing trust issues that never end (at least not for me)? Go down the road with eyes wide open and believe in yourself. You will find the answer. You will be okay.

Farewell...