Tick Tick Tick Tick

QUEER AS FOLK is one of my f-a-v-o-r-i-t-e shows of all time. Sure the storylines may have wandered, and it may not have ended the way it should've, but goddammit, it was funny as hell and introduced me to gay life at its finest with Brian Kinney getting blown in the first 10 minutes. It certainly has changed my life. Here are some of my favorite lines. Allow me to let it change you... And I'm totally serious when I say this. If you haven't seen it, go rent it, and if I doesn't keep you glued to the tele for days until you watch all the episodes there is something wrong with you. I nearly dropped out of college to stay home and watch.

Brian: Well, if it isn't the widow Schmidt. Fire engine red must be the new black.

Brian: It's not lying if they make you lie. If the only truth they can accept is their own.

Brian: What are you doing?
Justin: Giving my friend Daphne a tour of your house.
Brian: This isn't the White House. George Washington hasn't slept here.
Justin: He's the only guy who hasn't.

Mysterious Marilyn: God writes the script, sweetie. I just say the lines.

Melanie: What are you? Mr. Teflon? Shit just never sticks to you.

Ted: [on dating a guy who's HIV positive] It's like playing with fire. I mean... what if a condom breaks? Or he's flossing his teeth and his gums bleed?
Brian: Or he shoots off his load and you're bending over to tie your shoe and it accidentally flies up your ass...

Debbie: Well, if it isn't the man behind the asshole.
Michael: Brian's always behind the asshole.

Melanie: There's no fucking way Brian Kinney's fucking sperm are doing the breaststroke in my fallopian tube.

Brian: I haven't had this much fun with a toy since my Erector Set!
Emmett: My parents couldn't afford an Erector Set. So I decided to play with the one God gave me.

Emmett: My intuition tells me things are not going to go well tonight.
Ted: Well, your intuition also told you Madonna was going to win an Oscar for "Evita."
Emmett: She *so* deserved it.

Monty: Which one of you is the gardener and which one's the chef?
Justin: I really like cooking.
Brian: And I love planting my seed in some hole... [everyone looks at him strangely]
Brian: ... in the ground.

Brian: Remember what I said to you last night?
Justin: Yes, I heard. You said you love me.
Brian: Then how about marrying me?
***ps...my heart stopped here when I heard this!

[after she's read Brian and Justin's wedding announcement]
Debbie: There's only one explanation - he must've knocked up Sunshine.

Ethan: Why do you have to be so antisocial?
Justin: I'm not antisocial. I just can't stand people.

Michael: You'll always be young. You'll always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake!

Michael: If God wanted me on ice, he would have made me a vodka martini.

Melanie: [about Lindsay marrying Guillaume] What if he never leaves? What if he becomes a permanent fixture?
Brian: What if my aunt had balls? She'd be my uncle.

***FiFi wishes you the bestest weekend ever!***