I have not a single clue where to begin...I did forget to tell you that on Wednesday when I went to pick up my familia at Penn Station I saw Kiefer Sutherland. He was leaning up against a car in front of Penn. He looks just like he does on TV, but my cousin-in-law says he seems a lot shorter than on TV.
Also, on Sunday when we were walking through Union Squarish area we saw Dylan McDermott. He looked HOT in his leather jacket and aviator shades. Um...Dylan those shades certainly didn't fool me. He seemed like he was pissed and hated the world tho...maybe because he wasn't being stopped by fans...shrugs.
My family was in town in town since last Wednesday. My cousin and her husband have a b-e-a-utiful five month old baby darlin'. She is the sweetness even though she puked on me a few times. I did quite a bit of touristy shizz...such as...Oyster Bar...Grand Central Station...Fifth Avenue...and Chinatown. Yes...my cousin actually got me to Canal Street. And it was a blast. I decided that I wanted to go into one of those back rooms...you know the ones. Lemme tell you bout how that went. Of course, anytime you walk down Canal millions of little Chinese ladies whisper "Gucci. Prada. Coach. Louis. Chanel." at you. So, we found a cute little lady and decided to follow her. She led us off Canal and down a side street, where at this time another little Chinese lady picked us up and took us down another side street. She led us to a store. We went inside. And to the back of the store. Through a curtain. Through a moveable wall. Down a hall. Through another door. And through....ahhhh....the looking glass. Floor to ceiling. Stacked. Anything you wanted...could think of. It was zen. I picked a bag. Which I assume to be real and obtained by means that I do not wish to associate myself with :-). Paid my chump change...and was on my way. Me thinks I'll be down there again. It was too fun.
Oh and ps...while we were in there this other place on Canal got busted big time by a whole lotta cops that burst out of a stretch limo. Phew! That was close.
And then...On Saturday night, I went to celebrate one of my BFFs birthdays. We had a lovely group dinner at a lovely restaurant in Park Slope. Then, it was off to Cattyshack with the entourage. We blew that place up. I persuaded so many peeps to get Long Island Iced Teas...they need to pay me commission. Needless to say, we were all preeeettyyy much TRASHED. Well, when you hear what I did later, you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I sure as hell was...heeheehee.
Allow me to give you my beverage rundown for the evening. I cannot attest to anyone elses, but my own...but I think we all did about the same damage to our livers that night. Okay here goes: Two mango-tinis (at dinner). A Long Island. Two shots of Patron. Two beers. Two cranberry/vodkas. Yes...I know...you are thinking WOWOWOWOW!!! I maintained a good appearance of sobriety (yeah right) for most of the evening.
I should also say that I was going for my butch look. Stop laughing. I mean it. Well, you and everybody else were right. Even though I wear a shirt with a tie (most people said they thought it was a scarf of some sort...GEESH) I suppose I can NEVER be butch. Some expert butches told me so. If you're on my Facebook you should most definitely check out the picture of me dancing with a new friend who had my "tie" in her mouth. I think it's pretty butch. You can definitely see I'm the dominant one. Okay...so I danced my azz off...drank my azz off...oh and I almost forgot... the funniest story eva. So let's just say I was talking with Friend A and Friend B. Friend B was wearing a skirt. She lifted her leg and rested her foot on the bench. I said "What are you doing? Airing it out?" HAHAHAHAHA And she said "Yeah. Get a good whiff!" HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah...she was trashed too. I can also confirm this because everytime I would say anything even things like "This place smells like cheese." She would smile...squint....and nod...VERRRYYY SLOOOWWWLLY. I love you Friend B. May I offer my special thanks to the Birthday Girl. You fucking rock!!!!
So...somewhere around nearly 4ish AM...my new best friend got me into a cab. And here is where I'll say that I most definitely should've hoe'd it up (aka- Hopped on the good foot and done the bad thing) and not gone home to my apartment. Cuz I had a quite a few snafoos there. So...but anyway...I had a lovely conversation with the cab driver about how I like "coochie bird" and not weiners. Do not use the term "coochie bird" until you pay me my royalties first. I created it. It's mine.
So. I went home. I will give you a very brief rundown. Most of this is shit I heard about the next day when I rolled my ass outta bed. I had to pee really bad. I thought I was being quiet. Apparantly, I burst through the door to my apartment with quite some force and ran like hell to the bathroom. Giggling all the way. Yes...you guessed it. I woke up my coz and her hubby...but thankfully not the baby. So I came out of the bathroom. Stripped to my undies...yes even the bra...I was trying to hide my boobies with my arm...I heard that it actually looked like I was just resting my arm above the boobies. Yes...they got a lovely show. So, I got dressed in the bathroom...and came out to find my coz (aka-mom) standing in the kitchen doorway looking at me like the bad little girlie I was. We proceeded to go to the bathroom and over one cigarette (approximately 5-10 mins) I speedtalked the entire evening to her. Then I went and passed out. Yeah...I heard about most of this the next day...including a few details that I will just leave out and spare myself a shred of dignity.
My fingers are mucho tired now. If I think of anything else...I'll letcha know. Mkay. Peace.
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1 comment:
Oh good times! I need to hear about the night after I left.
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