...She is my companion...ohhh...about 40 hours per week. Yeah...she's my coworker and she's older than me hence the title fossil. It's really funny how you develop a familial type relationship with coworkers. They sometimes seem to know you better than your own family...especially if you talk about personal stuff.
So, my little fossil is driving me bonkers. She is completely renovating her apartment. I mean top to bottom...dude...I mean every fucking thing, and I'm so lucky to get to hear about every single step of this whole remodeling process (just so I can be sure that I will never renovate my shit ever). Everyday, it's they sent the wrong tub...i saw the plumber's crack...my contractor cancelled and now I have one that is charging me $50K more (that sucks)...The lights above the bathroom mirror are not centered...they cut the air conditioner sleeves too high...I want a hot color (read: red) for my living room (yikes)...I have to move out for three weeks...I have moved out and now feel like a homeless person...I want my privacy back. I could go on for another 80,000 words or so, but I'll spare you lucky folks the pain.
And then, her glasses were bothering her. She said she couldn't see. You remember that she's a fossil right? So she went to the eye doctor. He gave her contacts...which made her soooooo excited. No more glasses. Listen to what she's got to say now. I can't see out of my contacts...They take me two hours to put in...I have to get up at one in the morning to put them in...And I still can't see...(she also got bi-focals)...How are you supposed to look out of these things...I can't see...I need to go back to the doctor...I spent 500 bucks and I can't see...I can't see...I can't see. So, you get the idea here as well.
Of course I take it. Because Lord only knows I have gone on and on and on and on and on about the woes of my life to her for hours and years on end. It's a give and take. I love her like a fossil mother. Plus, it cracks me up when she goes on one of her rants. It's like the funniest shit ever.
Lesson--Love thy fossil.
***So...there you go. You wanted me to talk about ya...I hope this makes you happy.
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