A Tale Of Two Blondes

Ahhhh....laaaa....lllliiieee....daaaa deee. Okay okay okay, I'll stop.

It is so depressing to be back in New York. I had the most amazing weekend. Soooo many hot girls....soooo little time :-( Don't worry ya'll I did have time for a couple. My friends are amazing. I went to visit and they were going to teach me how to become an expert at picking up girls. Unfortunately, I didn't seem to need their help at all...only a push to open myself up...whereby I must've become more beautiful and attractive to people. We were in sort of a competition, more for motivation than anything else, for who was gonna get the most action. Let me start by saying, I had stellar karma on both Friday and Saturday night, I picked out a girl, and by the end of the night I had that girl. And I never even did a thing. They came to me. Yes, I was totally floored. I pray to God I brought this mojo back to NYC with me.

So, Friday. We went to a really awesome club. Really great music. Amazing DJ. I was not impressed with the selection of girls when we first got there. It was not until about an hour later when...the hottest girl walked into the bar...yes, my friends have classified her as the HOTTEST girl in that bar that night...um...well, except for me I guess. This girl knew everyone. She was talking to everyone, dancing with everyone, definitely mucho intimidating. I gave up hope for her after about five minutes. I could not even begin to think how I would get the social/player butterfly. About her...A bit taller than me...blonde...butch....baby blue button down...dark pants...hot sneakers...and wait for it...A BLACK TIE. Yes, I am a sucker for a tie. I guess you'll learn why in a minute.

So, but anyway, we danced. Very sexy dancing I might add. We drank. I became more relaxed and open. I started to notice her looking at me. Of course, I would catch her eye and look away like the nerd I am, but she was looking...okay...so then her friends all 500 of them (I kid) started to look at me. Smile at me. Dance near me. My friends started to push me over a bit into her area, but still I kept my distance. Then...her gay guy friend came up to me and started dancing with me. He was adorable...then....she danced up behind him...and then that smooth little fucker slipped out from between the two of us...and there we were...face to face. She smiled at me. It was over. I grabbed her by the tie and pulled her to me. She looked down...down my shirt...naughty. She grabbed me and we started dancing. She was looking at me like, how can this sweet and innocent looking girl be so provacative? She liked it. I think I scared her a bit with my dominatrix ways... *evil grin*. For the record, when I want to, when I feel it's necessary and especially when I'm provoked, I can turn into one hot, sexy, alluring, provacative girlie.

So, we shall end the story there. *double evil grin* PS...I have a tie fetish. I wouldn't let it go...

And then Saturday. We went to a new ladies night and this lounge in the city. It was packed. It was pretentious. The music sucked ass. After a bit, we decided to head out. We ended up at this crazy bar where it seems that everyone had gettin' a little somethin' somethin' on their mind. We were in there...oh...for about 30 seconds when I spotted a blonde bombshell. Long hair. Tall. Lipstick...in a dress. HOT!!! Hmmm? Not usually my type but she caught my eye. We started to dance. One of my friends sorta started dancing with her. About 5 seconds later she turned to me and didn't let go of me for the entire night. At all.

And...that's all you can have for that story. PS...when we called our friend for brunch on Sunday morning, he asked, "Where are you guys?" We replied, "Driving home."

During the days I lazed and shopped and had brunch with friends. It was very sad to leave for the airport on Sunday. Very sad.

By the way, I won the competition.

Oh yeah...I think Band-Aid may need a band-aid. From our conversations, all is not really going to be that well. I can't help I fell in love with my Friday night girl...