Tie Me UP...not down

Confessions from one hot & sexy quirky bitch...

Yeah...that would be me. That's my new title. XXX thinks that I am hot and sexy quirky. Which if you haven't heard is the best personality to have. It means I am a well rounded individual. She said that when it's sexy time, I turn on my alluring glances and come hither stares that can make someone insane, but when it's funny time, I turn on my charm and can be witty and hilarious and that can make someone fall in love. hmmm...*dreams*!!!

So, dudes, I figured out my mojo...where it came from...how I got it...and how I can keep it going strong!!! AND I AM MOST CERTAINLY DEFINITELY NOT GONNA TELL YOU!!! Nonono...just kidding...it's my nipple confidence...coupled with my bush confidence...coupled with the fact that I know how to make a gals eyes roll back into her head. Just kidding again...now you're pissed...sorry...it's actually all of those things plus this bonus thing that I have and cannot teach and cannot give away. It's inside me. Sorry I can't bottle up the mojo.

And some peeps have asked me to spell out my personal ideas about dating, here they are:

For me, dating has manifested to a waste of time. I have become the type of person that wants things her way. So, for me, I still have the need to get laid, but don't feel it necessary to waste the time investing a lot of myself in the other person. Which I sorta haven't been sticking to with XXX...but I sorta still am...because:
1. I do all the things that I want to.
2. I decide what I want to watch or listen to.
3. I still have time for exercising. (make that 13 pounds lost as of this AM)
4. I still have time for writing.
5. I get to spend loads more time with my friends.
6. I am able to focus on things that make me feel healthier, more beautiful and as people say, what I'm doing to make myself "glow." (no, I'm not preggers).

So, why would I give up all that to spend time losing myself in what someone else wants? I am the star of my own show. And I really like it like that. I have been such a giving, altruistic person all my life...now I'm taking...I've earned it...I deserve it...And I have it in abundance.

There ya go ladies!!! That is basically it...not that deep.

I have a packed weekend (is there any other kind?) which I will inform you about on Monday. I'm kinda sorta nervous about having to cook something that will feed 40 people tomorrow. Pray for me!!! And for the peeps that eat what I make!!!

On to some funny ass shit:
1. I have this huge, FUCKING big ass crush on one of my neighbors. I live in a kinda gayborhood (read: LOTS OF LEZZIES). The vast majority of them are hot and cool, but this one takes the cake. I see her all the time...every morning when I am walking to the subway, she is coming back from the park with her dog. Nevertheless, I don't want that kinda drama so close to home (so I'll be saving her for the spank bank).

2. Tinkle Trousers: This is one step beyond the puppy pad. It's like a doggie diaper. It's so adorably freaky. I know a pup that uses them....not so sure he's a fan.

3. Sex addicts...After yesterday, I was a little afraid that my sexual acoutrements would classify me as a horndog. Apparently, after talking to one of my friends (one of my friends that was at my party, that was very quiet, mind you) and she was telling me about all the stuff she has...which is A FUCKING SHITLOAD OF SEX TOYS!!! Apparently, she's not as uptight as I thought she was (no wonder she glides when she walks). And apparently, I'm not as loose as I thought. YAY!!

4. Save the funniest for last. This guy was in the car with his kid...and someone cut him off and he yells "What the fuck?!?" Then...a week later his son is playing with a friend. He tries to play with his friends truck. And the friend says "NO!!" So later...the friend starts playing with the kid's book. The kid screams "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" His father comes in and tells him he has to apologize to the friend. And the kid says "What the fuck? He wouldn't let me play with his truck now what the fuck is he doing with my book?" Ahhh...lessons. Your kids hear everything and while they may not say it right away...they store it in their memory for a special surprise. BE CAREFUL!!!