I don't know whether to cry or CUM!!

Been working on the novel a lot lately. It's so great to have a writing partner that I'm accountable to. It means I actually have to write now. Whereas before, I stopped writing for about a year. So, it's good to be back.

The novel. It's been a lot of fun to write. Sort of. But there's this thing that keeps happening to me. I'm writing and writing and everything's hunkydory and then BOOM!!!! I start crying, and when I say crying, I mean fucking wailing. It's an uncontrollable reaction which goes on for about a minute or two, and then I bust out laughing. I feel like such a nutball. I get so upset, and then I crack myself up with how upset I've gotten. It's truly a surreal experience. I assume that this is what's gonna happen throughout this whole process. Although, I pray not.

On a happier note, I used to be really timid about writing and sharing graphic love scenes. It made me feel silly and creeped out and having people read something extra special dirty that I've written is a pretty fucked up experience (at least in my virgin eyes, YEAH RIGHT). The novel is based on real life...my real life...so I am now writing one of quite a few exceedingly graphic sex scenes. And I'm totally loving it!!! Loving it more than I can tell you. The only thing that freaks me out is that my mother may some day read it...but knowing that some of my friends have read it is quite an exhilarating experience. It's not bothering me that everybody knows that it's me (THE REAL ME) partaking in these depraved acts. Well, everybody knew I was a naughty girl before so I guess it's not that shocking for them, but the precise detail, I'm not so sure how that's gonna go down.

I know I know I know...you are all saying, FiFi, we all wanna read your dirty smut writing. All I can say to that is I'll think about it. If I deem it acceptable and feel that you will all be able to handle it, you may be lucky enough to see a posting in the near future. We shall see. Keep checking though.