I have this friend. She hath delved into the seedy underworld of online dating. This is not something I reccommend for the faint of heart. You never really know who you're talking to these days---Hot Babe or Dirty Truck Driver. However, in the days of yonder before I found that special someone to cook with, makeout with and fight with, I, too, took a trip to the Cyber Prom.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that El Dirty Truck Driver is far more appealing than the hot chick in the club who's surrounded by her lion's pack of protectors. Good luck to all who are brave enough to penetrate that...
So...anyway, I won't go into gross detail, but certain things she has told me about him have lead me to the obvious conclusion that he's a serial killer. She maintains that he's not, but I'd personally like to see how well he'd do on TO CATCH A PREDATOR. Oh...well...he probably is harmless.
And...yes...the following is actual real life dialogue spoken between us during the conversation:
Me: So...how is the murderer?
Her: He's not a murderer. When we go on our date, we're gonna play mini-golf. Do you think a murderer would want to play mini-golf?
Me: I don't know. I don't know a lot of murderers.
-----
Her: I think he's just lonely and desperate.
Me: That's just what you need. So you can manipulate and control him.
Her: Exactly.
Me: That's terrible.
Her: Maybe that's how he lures them in and then he cuts them up into little pieces. (Can you see how she's humoring me here?)
Me: Probably.
----
Me: Well I better go. You have your psycho killer to keep you company.
Her: He said he'd be right back. He went to get a drink.
Me: Yeah, that's killer code for "sharpen my knife" or "check how the body in my tub is decomposing."
***Disclaimer: More than likely, he's okay. And if they ever get married and live happily ever after...I apologize for this.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that El Dirty Truck Driver is far more appealing than the hot chick in the club who's surrounded by her lion's pack of protectors. Good luck to all who are brave enough to penetrate that...
So...anyway, I won't go into gross detail, but certain things she has told me about him have lead me to the obvious conclusion that he's a serial killer. She maintains that he's not, but I'd personally like to see how well he'd do on TO CATCH A PREDATOR. Oh...well...he probably is harmless.
And...yes...the following is actual real life dialogue spoken between us during the conversation:
Me: So...how is the murderer?
Her: He's not a murderer. When we go on our date, we're gonna play mini-golf. Do you think a murderer would want to play mini-golf?
Me: I don't know. I don't know a lot of murderers.
-----
Her: I think he's just lonely and desperate.
Me: That's just what you need. So you can manipulate and control him.
Her: Exactly.
Me: That's terrible.
Her: Maybe that's how he lures them in and then he cuts them up into little pieces. (Can you see how she's humoring me here?)
Me: Probably.
----
Me: Well I better go. You have your psycho killer to keep you company.
Her: He said he'd be right back. He went to get a drink.
Me: Yeah, that's killer code for "sharpen my knife" or "check how the body in my tub is decomposing."
***Disclaimer: More than likely, he's okay. And if they ever get married and live happily ever after...I apologize for this.
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