Fifi's Back...I know you were worried

I am terribly sorry I was not here yesterday to entertain you. I have a sinus infection mucho grande and mucho sucky. So, since I had nuthin' for ya yesterday, I've got two for you today. First, let me self-reflect and second, let me tell you about this weird ass place I went on Saturday night.

"Be someone. Be someone. Redeem history. Make our lives not an endless sacrifice but a gathering of energy, the strength to jump, but we fall, the strength to jump, but we fall, until you who leap and do not fall. Then we see what we were for, the single stuttered words gain the momentum of a narrative."


"Intensity is the Desire to Receive. Open yourself to light and you will become light."


"What had begun as a comity of sovereign states had ended in invasion. He had invaded me but who was arguing over the boundaries? I hardly cared that sharing had come to be spelled capture. Intellectually I was emancipated. Emotionally I still lived in a seraglio."


~~GUT SYMMETRIES-Jeanette Winterson


Inspiring, eh? Well, it inspired me and that's all that really matters. A psychic recently told me that I easily forgive but find it impossible to forget. So...basically what this means is that I forgive a person for whatever it is they've done but continue to scrutinize, nag and punish the person for their offense. In accordance with this, I also torture myself, worrying and debating whether the person actually deserved my forgiveness in the first place.

These tiny idiosyncrasies in my personality manifest into bitterness, anger and resentment. I never stop fighting the battle even after I've won 20 times over. I want to be free. I want to cut out this flaw within myself. If I forgive I must forgive. If I cannot, I must count my losses and move forward, else be stuck in this perpetual path of regression.


Dear Lord of depression and anxiety,

Give me the strength to see through my hazy self and find the truth, accept it and believe in it. Allow me to let go, relax and be patient. If the aformentioned is not possible, dope me up on enough pills so that I may not feel at all. Amen.

Okay...thanks for allowing me to spew my neuroses onto you...


On to DIXON PLACE---

This cramped, dingy performance art space is down on Bowery. Yes...ewww...but I'm an artsy gal, and I've been to a lotta these places because I have artsy friends that I must go to see do their artsy thing.

Anyway...Saturday night, my friend and I went to see two performances, the first being THE CHAIR PROJECT, the second...and I know you're gonna love this one---PUSSY CONTROL.

The basic premise of the chair thingy was that two gals fought, did acrobatic shit, and rumbled around to put their ass on a crappy lunchroom chair. Yeah....it was some lesbians as you may have already assumed. It was quite interesting to watch as they, leaped and climbed all over each other into pretzel poses. On the other hand, I could never see anything like this again and still lead a normal life.

And then there was the pussy thingy. It was this gay guy who had a doppelganger or "ankydoo" as he called it, that was a straight guy. So he spent the entire performance coming to terms and understanding the wonderful world of heterosexuality. Here's a list of the things he did to get this accomplished: Made out with plastic dolls, dressed up as a woman with a furry thong as his "you know what", got personal with some straight porn, did a strip tease, and put on some platform combat boots (he thought these would showcase his femininity...he really only hangs out with the lesbos). Oh...yeah...and he put the thong on wrong so when he flashed us we got to see one of his lovely balls. And as you can probably assume, I would have been spared some trauma and been able to lead a normal life if I hadn't seen this one.

In all honesty, I was entertained, it was kooky but still, I support performance art in all it's wacky forms.